March. Already. I must’ve blinked. Where did January and February (and most of this month) go?!? Wait, don’t answer that. I know where they went. Or, more accurately, how they were spent. But none of that now. I’m the only one who know what it is I intended to do, to have done by now … what was on the to-do list that’s still there … I’ve been trying to give myself permission to jettison that self-imposed obligation, to give it up, to get over it, to let it go. I’m mostly winning. Mostly.

Goals. As opposed to resolutions. I’ve been thinking about these for some little while, now. Reflecting on the prior year, what worked, what didn’t, what I want to pull forward, what I should ditch … This usually happens in January. For reasons that do not need explored at this time, January and I tussled this year. February and I agreed to just call it a draw. But reflection. I’ve noticed several themes (characteristics?) that bear exploring.

I am a list-maker. The harder I try to avoid it, the more necessary a list becomes. I hadn’t thought of it until recently, but I think it’s because I’m becoming a better “straddler;” thinking and processing (predominantly) right-brain, but organizing and implementing left-brain. Macros and micros. Balancing between being a thinker and a doer. Thinkers need plenty of space for thinking big thinks. But doers need some sort of game plan, a checklist of sorts, to know a) if they are working on the right things, and b) if they are making progress. Hence my annual goal-setting. As opposed to resolutions. Goals get measured. And what gets measured gets managed. Resolutions get made. And then, well …

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Which reminds me of a Michael Hyatt post  I read recently on to-do lists. Never mind my loose definition of “recently.” He reminded me of something I know, but forgot to remember. Specifically, it’s all one life. He said, “…I spend a crazy amount of time being strategic and intentional with my job, and I want to remember to apply that same intentionality to my relationships as well.” {face palm} Well, duh! Right?!?  {note to self #774}

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But I was speaking of trends.

I fail forward. Sometimes with alarming frequency. But I think this is a good thing. And something of a skill. To risk trying something new, but be willing to abandon it if it doesn’t work. The outcome: I have an expanding knowledge base and collection of things I’m NOT good at. Which helps reinforce what I AM good at.

I am a constant work-in-progress. How I manage my time, productivity, relationships. How well, or not, I know myself. Or I think I know myself. I’m not sure there is such a state as “finished,” much less if I’ll ever get there. Sometime mid-February, I was forcefully reminded that I’m not the only one with a backstory, not the only one nursing hurts, in pain, not the only one in need of grace and comfort.

But back to goals. Last year, I reviewed the evolution of my annual goal-setting.

– 2011: More or Less List
– 2012: To Count or Not To Count List
– 2013: Stop Doing List

Which brings me back to 2014, and the idea of being intentional in every area of life: professionally, socially, personally. So, without further ado:

2014: To Be List

Deliberate: I want to be more intentional about the things I can do–and want to do–and float the rest. Letting those “if only” and “at some point” things loiter on the periphery pulls my attention away … because I know they’re still there. Less waffling, more decision-making, more doing. Commit, and be all in.